The most important online safety rule: you can always tell me
Children are more likely to ask for help when they know they will be heard, supported, and will not automatically lose their device.
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Children can form genuine friendships through games, social media, and messaging apps. They may laugh together, share interests, and speak every day without ever meeting in person.
Those friendships can be meaningful, but it is harder to confirm who someone really is online. A person may lie about their age, use a false profile, or slowly build trust before asking for personal information, money, images, or secrecy.
The most useful family safety rule is not simply a list of banned apps. It is a promise that a child can always ask for help.
You can always tell me what happens online. I will listen first, and asking for help will not automatically mean losing your device.
Take online friendships seriously
Telling a child that an online friend is not a real friend may make them feel misunderstood. It can also make them less likely to share a worrying conversation.
Ask calm questions instead. How did they meet? What do they enjoy doing together? Do they also know each other in real life? Has the person ever made them uncomfortable?
An online friend should respect the same boundaries as any other friend. Be cautious if someone:
- Wants to move the conversation into a private app
- Asks where the child lives, studies, or uses their device
- Says the friendship must be kept secret
- Requests photos, videos, or a live video call
- Offers gifts or money
- Pressures the child to meet in person
- Becomes angry when the child says no
One sign does not always prove that someone is dangerous. A pattern of secrecy, pressure, or boundary testing deserves attention.
Set clear rules about spending
Money can be part of online pressure too. Games and social platforms make it easy to buy skins, upgrades, subscriptions, gifts, and virtual currency.
Agree that children must ask before spending money online. They should never share payment details, buy something for an online friend, accept a request to transfer money, or use a gift card as payment for a promise or favour.
Use purchase approval settings where they are available, remove saved card details from accounts that do not need them, and turn on transaction notifications. These limits are about preventing pressure and surprise purchases, not punishing a child for enjoying a game.
Make asking for help feel safe
A child may stay quiet if they believe speaking up will mean losing their phone, console, or internet access. That can leave them alone with the problem and cut them off from supportive friends.
Australia’s eSafety Commissioner advises parents to stay calm, listen without judging, and reassure children that their devices will not be taken away. Thank them for telling you, even if they broke a family rule or replied to something they should have ignored.
This promise does not mean nothing will change. An account may need stronger privacy settings, a person may need to be blocked, or access may need to change temporarily if there is an immediate risk. Explain that these steps are for protection, involve the child where possible, and keep any separate conversation about family rules for later.
What to do when a child reports something harmful
Start by listening. Ask what happened, whether the person is still contacting them, and whether anyone is in immediate danger.
If it is safe to do so, collect evidence before blocking the account. Save screenshots, usernames, profile links, dates, messages, and the address of the page. Do not forward intimate material or ask the child to repeatedly show it.
Report the account or content through the game, app, or social platform. After saving the necessary details, block or mute the person and review the child’s privacy and messaging settings.
If the platform does not act on serious online abuse, use the eSafety reporting service. Suspected child grooming or sexual extortion can also be reported to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation. Contact Triple Zero if a child is in immediate danger.
The eSafety guidance on grooming and unwanted contact also recommends staying calm, telling the child it is not their fault, and avoiding contact with the suspected person yourself.
Have the conversation before it is needed
Do not wait for a crisis. Choose a calm moment and explain that anyone can make a mistake or encounter something harmful online.
Tell your child who they can approach if you are unavailable. This could be another parent, a relative, a teacher, or a trusted family friend. Make it clear that reporting harmful content helps protect them and may also protect somebody else.
Children will not always make perfect choices online. What matters most is that when something goes wrong, they know they do not have to solve it alone.